I've Been Tagged!

My mother tagged me, so I need to type 7 things you might not know about me:

1. The best time in my life ever (well, so far) was when I went to Europe by myself for 11 days back in April 2000. I flew into Frankfort, Germany, and took trains to Berlin, Geneva Switzerland, Venice Italy, and Paris France. I still look through my 1500 pictures on occasion, and feel as though I am almost reliving that time. I was free, single and childless, not much of a care in the world. Now that I am married with child, I am SOOOOO grateful I had that opportunity to take such an incredible trip with no worries.

2. I hate the word "fart". Ugh, just typing it makes me sick. I prefer the word "toot". I refer to it as the "f word" and won't even let Ella say it. And I have Johnny trained to saying toot as well. I am good :)

3. I am terrible at following through, but am extremely good at intending to do so. I usually don't get birthday cards out, or emails written back, but I do think about doing it, and I fully intend to..... but it usually doesn't happen.

4. When I was 16, I sang kareoke in the middle of the mall in a 1950's beetle car for a few prizes. ALL by myself...... to this day and age, I don't know what on earth posessed me, and I still get a bit red in the face thinking about it. I sang "We Can Work It Out", by the Beatles. I believe my mom still has the cassette recording somewhere. Oh, and did I mention it was broadcast on live radio??

5. I love coupons! I have been into coupon clipping for the past 3 months and am pretty well stocked on shampoo, body washes, toothpastes, and deodrants until the next century thanks to CVS. Tonight at the grocery store, my total was $205 before coupons, and after coupons, it went down to $109 (because triple coupons this week- weeeee!). Coupons rock!

6. I shamefully admit I LOVE the song "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf. I have it on my Ipod, and have to control myself from lipsynching too hard in public *insert embarissed face here*

7. I have more online friends then I do in-real life friends. And I have alot of in-real life friends that I met online!

Can this child of mine be any more silly?? I swear, she makes me laugh everyday. She is definetely 1 in a ka-zillion! She starts preschool in 7 hrs. and 45 minutes! I am very excited for her. She is in the middle, not excited but not hating the idea. She has cried about 4 times this week, saying she is scared and doesn't want to go (it breaks my heart!). But Johnny and I have been hyping preschool up, telling her how much fun it will be and that she is going to make lots and lots of friends! I also told her that both grammie and grandma (Johnny's mom) are going to buy her a small present soon, to show just how proud of her they are! (Oh, by the way..... can ya buy her a small gift and mail it, mom? Nothing big, she just loves getting mail ;)).

I have about a million questions for her teachers tomorrow, but I am going to try not to linger too much. I just need to hold back my tears (ohhh, I am a Sullivan, tears are going to flow), and tell myself that this is for the best. I am mostly dreading this first week. After this week, I think we will both be just fine. It's just going to be so weird without her with me during the day.

I will write again tomorrow night with how her first day was! And expect pics as well. I bought her a gorgeous purple dress just for tomorrow. Can't wait!

Some pics of Ellllllllla!

Here's some recent pics from this past weekend and week. This girl could not be any cuter :). And the last one, she asked if she could make a face, so this was her own doing!

Every morning, when we wake....

Me: "Did you have sweet dreams?"

Ella: "YES!"

Me: "What did you dream about?"

Ella: "Butterflies. And horses, and rainbows, and frogs, and shopping, and airplanes, and mommy, and daddy, and babies....."

The list goes on and on. I love it- one of the best things about waking up. We have been lucky, Ella is always her happiest right when she wakes up (and I admit, I am always my grumpiest- but having her beautiful smile in my face helps).

In less then 2 weeks, I will be leaving for the weekend to go to my brother's wedding (THANKS Jeff and Rachael, I am soooo excited!). I am both excited, but a bit sad to leave Ella. The longest I have ever been away from her is overnight, when she spends the occasional night at my in-laws. I have EVERY faith in Johnny that he is going to take the best care of her, but it's also so hard. He doesn't know our routine. he doesn't know what outfits she can wear to the playground, and what she can't. He doesn't know how to do her hair cute, or even what brush to use. He doesn't know what ballerina outfit is her favorite. There is lot's to learn! Thank God for cell phones...... I can only imagine there will be ALOT of calling back and forth.

Disappointed.......

Ok, I figured out why I am sooooo upset with Alyssa's actions. I mean, I know I have been there done that (BTDT). I have had my middle of the night adventures of staying out all night, not caring what mom and dad thought. I was 16 at one point, not afraid of anything. I was with my friends, I felt like nothing could go wrong. I felt safe. And I didn't have the sense or respect to wonder about my mom, her realizing I hadn't come home yet when I should have been home hours before, safe in my bed. At the time, it didn't faze me.

The reason I am so upset? Because Alyssa is so much smarter then I was at that age. Everyone in the family knows how intelligent she is. I never made great grades. I barely passed with D's. She is used to bringing home A's and B's. She is better then this. SO MUCH BETTER. I do understand what she is going through, with boys and school and being a teenager. I was there one time, I know exactly how hard it is to deal with things! She doesn't even know how lucky she has it right now, and that pisses me off.

She never had to go to 4 highschools in 3 DIFFERENT states. She never had to say goodbye to best friends, and first loves. She never had to be the "new kid" in school and know how it felt to sit alone at lunch, eating by yourself. She has never known how it feels to move into a new unfamiliar home, no place to truly call your own.

She was lucky enough to get braces at such a young age! OMG, to have straight beautiful teeth is a dream of mine. I don't know what that feels like, she does. She has lived in the same house in the same town for a very long time now, a house her parents own. I never had that. Her parents take her on vacations every year. Didn't happen much here.

Am I bitter and angry? Nope, not one bit. I was a bratty kid and a horrible teen, I didn't deserve great things. Alyssa has ALWAYS been such a good person. My mom and dad did the best they could (and I'm surprised they didn't kill me growing up- I would have deserved it). April and Chris do the best they can, I know they do. And they are damn good parents, who love and adore thier children. They try to give the kids the best in life. I mean, for God's sake, Alyssa has a car sitting in the driveway!!! HER OWN FREAKING CAR, for free....... but has no initiative or drive to get a license. That just stuns me. If I had been so lucky to have my own car at 16, I would have been one estatic teen, license in hand.

My parents lost so much respect for me on many occasions. Knowing what I know now, and all of the dangers out there, I wish I could take it all back. I was an idiot, I was stupid. I deserved no respect for all the crap I pulled. I can't apologize enough for what I put my parents through. I know there were times that my mom cried about me (and ugh, just thinking about it breaks my heart), and was so frustrated and at the end of her rope. But she NEVER once gave up on me. If I wasn't so selfish and could see the hurt and anger both my parents went through over me, I wouldn't have done any of it. And it's not only because I am a parent myself I can say this.... it's because I am an adult. Alyssa may think she is an adult, but my oh my, she has SOOOOO much growing up to do.

I had tough love growing up. I was grounded alot. I thought life wasn't fair. I thought my parents hated me and only lived to make me miserable. Well guess what? I got over it! At some point, I realized it wasn't all about me. To have made my mom almost call the police once when I was 15 and didn't come home all night, her trying so hard to remember what I was wearing so she could discribe it to the police? 100% UNACCEPTABLE. To this day when I think about that morning, and how much my mom was crying and screaming at me, it still brings me to tears (wiping away tears now). I wish I had never put her through that pain.

My past actions, allthough not acceptable, were not quite the shock to anyone. Alyssa's actions? Complete shock. Like I said, she is better then that. I have only been disappointed in her one other time, and that was during last Mother's Day. She does have quite the cheeky mouth and could use a bar of soap in it once in awhile. But this takes the cake.

Sigh.......

Another Chilly Day!

Mother Nature has been good to us. The past 2 days have been chilly, and today it rained all day (well, I could have done without the constant rain, but I am not being picky!). I love sweater weather so much! I am a fall/winter girl. I love getting all toasty in a jacket or sweater, and wearing a scarf around my neck. I love all the leaves that fall, only meaning the holidays are getting nearer everyday! I love Halloween and Christmas the most out of any other holidays. Then we have my birthday (no, getting older is not really an exciting event, it's just I have always loved my birthday right before Christmas.....and since I have to have a birthday, I am glad I got the one I did- thanks mom, hehee).

Then in January, my baby girl's birthday! I love planning her party! That is the best part. And when it comes to her birthday presents and party, money is never an issue with her daddy :). He always let's me choose what kind of party to throw her, and her b-day presents. I can't wait to start planning her big 0-4 birthday!

I just love looking forward to the chilly weather and what's to come. I never look forward to summer months, especially out here where the humidity gets bad. I love sleeping with blankets, and cuddling with my girl (and guy!) without getting hot!

Bring on the fall, Mother Nature! I am always ready :)

Happy Birthday DAD!

Ella and I had fun making this sign! And she even picked out that dress to wear for her pictures with the sign. She keeps asking if we are going to give it to Papa today, she is just so excited :)